The Three Little Bishies
by Blu Rose
Summary: [Fairytale Parody Birthday fic oneshot!] What happens when you combine Naruto, an old kiddie story, and one whacked out authoress. You get three cute bishies, one sexy weasel, and hundrerds of bishie obsessed fan girls. [Sucky summary, please R&R!]


_Disclaimer: Blu Rose doesn't own Naruto or "The Three Little Pigs". Or anything else that is mentioned here._

**X-X-X**

"Greetings, my fellow Naruto fans and fan fiction writers/readers!! It is I--you're crazy neighborhood authoress, Blu Rose, here with a special fic!!!" Blu Rose screamed loudly into a microphone. The authoress was standing on a stage, shouting to a nonexistent crowd. Her assistant, Saiyuri, pressed a button and the entire room filled with the recording of roaring cheers. The brunette pressed the button again and turned the recording off. "Now, this fic is special because I am writing it for my birthday!! Happy Sweet 16 to me!! Whoo-hoo!!" Blu cheered as she pumped a fist in the air. "And as my special gift to me, I'm gonna take a crack at writing an all-humor fic for once!!"

"That explains why she's in the story right now." Saiyuri spoke.

"I think they knew that, already, Sai. Anyway, this fic shall be a Naruto parody of _'The Three Little Pigs'_! And playing the three lead roles shall be played by three of the Naruto cast: Naruto, Sasuke and Gaara, who volunteered completely of their own free will!"

"No, we didn't." Sasuke said flatly as he gave Blu a death glare, causing the authoress to look away. "You knocked us out and kidnapped us."

"Actually, that was just you and Naruto. Gaara agreed to come of his own free will, though."

"WHAT?! How the hell did you do _that_?!" Naruto exclaimed.

Blu suddenly became chibified as a sunset backdrop appeared behind her. "Simple! I just told him he could sleep on my bed!" She pointed over to the snoozing former Jinchuriki. He had a teddy bear in his hand as he mumbled things under his breath. "He _really_ likes his sleep after getting he had the Shukaku pulled out of him."

Both Naruto and Sasuke sweatdropped as the blonde muttered, "Lucky him..."

Blu began to squeal like a fan girl--in fact, she was now wearing a shirt that said 'I Heart Gaara' on it. "He's so cute when he's sleeping!! If it weren't for the fact that he said he'd kill me if I tried to take a picture of him like this, I so would!!"

"Uh, Blu? The fic?"

"What? Oh, right, right!!" The authoress cleared her throat suddenly. "We now introduce to you _'The Three Little Bishies'_!!! A Blu Rose production!"

"Wait a minute. If this is a parody of _'The Three Little Pigs'_...does this mean you're gonna turn us into _pigs_?" Asked Naruto with squinted eyes.

Sasuke merely gave the girl a glare again and she turned away, afraid that she'd spontaneously combust from his patented _Uchiha Death Glare_(**TM**).

"No, no! You guys are gonna be human! Now, cue the fadeout!!! ...SAIYURI!!!"

Blu's muse/assistant looked up from the book she was reading. "Huh? Oh, right!! Fadeout." She pushed a button and the scene immediately faded out.

**X-X-X**

**The Three Little Bishies**

_Once upon a time, there was a group of one sexy and two incredibly cute misunderstood teenage boys._

"Hey, I'm not misunderstood!!"

"Shows what you know, dope."

"WHAT WAS THAT?!?"

_OI!! Let me get back to narrating, you guys!!!_

"Sorry..."

"Hn."

_Thank you. Anyway, these three boys lived with their mother--who was an old woman in a shoe._

"Who exactly are you calling _old_?" Tsunade spoke in a threatening tone of voice as she glared up at the ceiling of her shoe house.

_Erm, did I say "old woman"? I meant "young, beautiful woman"! My bad._

"That's better."

"I never heard of an old woman in a shoe being in _'The Three Little Pigs'._" Gaara said flatly.

"This is a parody. It doesn't have to make sense." Sasuke muttered.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute!! How come Granny Tsunade's playing our mom? Shouldn't she be our _grandma _or something?" Naruto exclaimed as he shouted up at the ceiling. Before the blonde knew it, he was given an uppercut by the Godaime Hokage, which caused him to fly straight up in the air. Several minutes later, Naruto came falling back down, holding a goose.

"What took you so long?" Gaara asked as he stared at the goose.

"Granny Tsunade punched me all the way into another story! I got this goose that lays golden eggs from some giant's castle." Naruto explained. As soon as he said that, the goose farted out a bronze egg. "BRONZE?! Aw, man! I took the wrong goose!!"

_Ahem. The story?_

"Hey, don't blame me--blame Granny-- I mean, Tsunade-sama!" Naruto quickly corrected himself before the blonde Hokage could raise her fist at him.

_Tsunade-sama, if you please._

Tsunade took a deep breath and folded her arms across her well-endowed chest. "As you all know...we're flat broke. We hardly have enough money to feed all four of us."

"That's because you keep gambling it away, _Mom_!" Naruto said as he stuck out his tongue.

"It's because of your gambling habits that we eat instant ramen everyday," Said Sasuke as he glared at his _'mother'_.

"_And_ why we can't afford to get Sasuke a decent haircut!! Or a doctor to help Gaara with his bedwetting problems!!" The blonde boy continued.

Gaara and Sasuke glared at the blonde boy. Sand was slowly coming out of Gaara's gourd and Sasuke's Sharingan had activated, its comma-like marks circling slowly around the pupils. The orange-clad boy immediately began to sweat.

"H-hey, I only said what Blu told me to!!"

"Anyway, I've come up with a simple solution to our little money problem." Said Tsunade.

"We're going to sell the goose?" Sasuke asked. The goose that was still in his hands farted out another bronze egg.

"No."

"We're gonna _eat_ the goose?" Naruto asked as he tossed aside the bronze egg. "Because if this thing lays bronze eggs, who knows what's in it...?"

"No. I'm going to kick you out! All three of you slackers!!"

"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!" Naruto shouted loudly, a vein throbbing on his forehead.

"I'm your mother. I can make you do whatever I want." Tsunade said as she glared at the Uzumaki.

"What sort of mother kicks her own children out?" Sasuke asked as his eye twitched.

"The kind that can't afford to have them in their house anymore, my precious little Sasuke!" The blonde Sannin pinched Sasuke's cheek. Naruto giggled in the background and Gaara...just stared. "Besides, you're all 15 years old. You're practically men, now! I can't take care of full-grown men! Now, out you go!"

_And with that, the three little bishies' mother kicked them out of her shoe of a house. Literally. She kicked them all so hard, they wound up in the middle of nowhere._

"...Who's foot is in my stomach?!" Naruto exclaimed. The three teens managed to make a pile after falling from the sky.

"Whose hand is in my face?" Sasuke growled.

"Uh, I think that's mine."

"Whose hand is on my butt?" Gaara asked in a calm voice. Though, if you knew Gaara, that usually meant he'd kill you in a matter of seconds.

_After they got their acts together, the three bishies pondered their situation. Their mother had kicked them out and left them to fend for their own in the cruel, cruel world! Oh, the humanity! _

"_We're_ the ones who should be crying. Not you." Sasuke said as he glared up at the sky.

_Sorry about that._

"What're we gonna do?!? We don't have any food! Or any money!!" Naruto shouted to the heavens.

"And it's all because of our alcoholic gambler of a mother." The Uchiha spoke.

"What're we gonna _do_?!" The blonde cried again as he fell to his knees dramatically.

"Shut up!"

_A long time passed until one of the bishies came up with a brilliant idea!_

"Why don't we just build a house?" Gaara suggested flatly.

"Great idea, Gaara!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Do you even _know_ how to build a house, you dope?" Sasuke asked with an arched eyebrow.

"No, but Blu can just narrate and do the work for us!"

_Hey, I oppose that idea!_

"Do you know how to build a house, Blu Rose?" Gaara asked stiffly.

"I'll take the silence as a no."

"And if you don't know, then how're _we_ supposed to?!"

_Fine, fine!! I'll skip ahead. Ahem... Thus did the three bishies set to work. Naruto, the youngest bishie, built a little house made entirely of ramen._

"That's not possible."

"Quiet, Gaara!! I like where this is going." Naruto gave a foxy grin as he looked at his masterpiece. The house looked like the ramen version of the witch's house in_ 'Hansel and Gretel'_.

"Someone might try to eat it."

"Who'd want to eat raw noodles?" Sasuke asked with an arched eyebrow.

_The middle bishie, Gaara, built a two-story mansion completely made of sand, with three bathrooms, three bedrooms, and a swimming pool._

"WHAT?! _That_ is _not_ possible!!!" The blonde exclaimed as he stared up at the large sand mansion that suddenly popped up. Kankuro was in the pool already and Temari was at poolside, getting a tan. "How come Gaara's house is way bigger than mine?! And why're _they_ here?!"

"We're just visiting our little brother in his new house," Said Kankuro as he did a backstroke.

"Liar. You probably just wanna swim in his pool, right, Gaara?" Naruto did a double take as he saw that Gaara was no longer in his spot. "Gaara?"

The red-haired Kazekage was now inside of his new mansion, sleeping on his new king-sized bed. It wasn't as big as the one he had back home in Suna, but it would do.

"I hope you all get sand in your pants. Jerks..." Naruto grumbled.

_And the eldest bishonen, Sasuke, built a fine brick mansion with little red and white fans decorating the wall that surrounded it._

"That's not fair, Blu! Sasuke and Gaara get mansions, but I get a little house of ramen?! At least give me a ramen _mansion_ and I'll call it even!"

_Sorry, Naruto. We have a budget. And Sasuke and Gaara's houses pushed it to the extreme. But if you're so upset, I'll give you a pool of your own and a little white picket fence. Whaddaya say?_

The loud blonde sniffled as he looked up at the sky. "You better..." In a poof of smoke, an average-sized pool was next to the ramen house and a small, white picket fence surrounded it. "Well, it looks a _little better_... You think you could give me satellite TV?"

_Don't push it, fox boy. Anyway, the three bishies lived nearby each other, so that if one had a problem, he could always run to his brothers for help. But one day, an evil creature escaped from the deepest pits of Hell, and the Big Bad Weasel found his way to the Bishies' neighborhood when he was on the run from the law!!_

"Big Bad Weasel? Isn't it supposed to be a wolf?"

"Gaara, you should never ask questions when it comes to a parody. For all we know, we're gonna wind up in animal costumes next!"

_AHEM!!_

"Sorry..."

"..."

_As I said, the Big Bad Weasel found his way into the bishies' 'hood, and by the time he got their, he was already hungry for chaos, despair, murder, and all that other bad stuff! (We'll give you three guesses who it is.)_

Itachi walked through the bushes. Thunder and lightning went off and the sky turned gray and cloudy as some evil theme music played in the background. He spotted a house of ramen in the distance and blinked. "..." He approached the little house of ramen as the theme music stopped. He was in such a daze of hunger, he was going to attempt to eat the house. As soon as he was near it, Itachi ripped off a piece of raw noodle.

Inside of the house, Naruto was relaxing on his couch when he suddenly sat up. "What's that sound?" He walked over to the window and looked outside. His jaw dropped and his eyes became the size of saucers when he saw what he saw. Uchiha Itachi, the criminal better known as the Big Bad Weasel, was sitting in front of his house and boiling pieces that he'd ripped off!! Forgetting who he was dealing with, Naruto opened his window and stuck his head outside. "OI!!! STOP EATING MY HOUSE, YOU RED-EYED FREAK!!!" The blonde shouted as he shook a fist at the eldest Uchiha.

Itachi slowly turned his head to face Naruto, with a couple of noodles hanging from his mouth. "Uzumaki Naruto... The Kyuubi container." He slurped up the rest of his noodles and stood up.

"Uh-oh." Naruto immediately closed his window shut and began to barricade his door. He was probably so afraid that he forgot that doors weren't that big of an obstacle for Itachi.

"Open this door. _Now_." Itachi commanded as the wheels of his Sharingan eyes began to spin slowly.

"Do I look stupid?! Hell no!!"

"Very well." The Uchiha's eyes then changed into the Mangekyo Sharingan and it began to spin quickly. In the blink of an eye, Naruto's little ramen house was set ablaze with black flames!

"HOLY CRAP!!! I forgot about that thing!!"

_And thusly, after being struck by the flaming Amaterasu of the Big Bad Weasel, the youngest Bishie's house was burned down!_

Naruto sniffled. _He_ was safe and unharmed by the black flames that kept burning. He managed to run out of the conveniently-placed back in time. But his house...was now a pile of burnt ramen.

Itachi, still deluded by his hunger, grabbed a hunk of charred ramen and placed it in a pot, then he went back to boiling it.

"Hey! Aren't you gonna try to attack me? Knock me out? Take me away and rip the Kyuubi outta me?!"

The eldest Uchiha brother was still boiling his ramen as Naruto stared at him in disbelief. The blonde growled in the background. He couldn't _believe_ that he was being ignored for once! He then smacked himself in the face.

"What the heck am I _doing_?! I should be getting help!"

_And so, while the Big Bad Weasel was munching on the remains of his house, Naruto ran off to his brother Gaara's house in search of safety._

"Gaara, Gaara, Gaara!!! Open the door!! It's me, Naruto!! Open UUUUUUUP!!!" Naruto exclaimed as he banged on Gaara's sandy door. He continued to scream loudly, as though Itachi was right on his tail, when in actuality, the Uchiha was still eating what was left of his ramen house.

Meanwhile, inside of the sand mansion, Gaara's eyes snapped open and he let out a low growl. He got out of his king-sized bed, walked out of his large room, through _long_ hallways, and walked down the many, many stairs that let to the entrance. And all the while, Naruto's voice managed to reverberate along the walls of the house--which was amazing, considering that it was sand. Gaara opened the door and glared at Naruto, a vein twitching near his 'Ai' tattoo. "_What_?"

"Hide me!!" Naruto exclaimed as he shoved past Gaara and slammed the door shut. He began to barricade the door with several items that were lying about: a chair, a goat, a stone bust of the Yondaime Kazekage, Temari's fan, etcetera, etcetera...

"Naruto. Why are you here?"

"Itachi's here!! Gotta protect ourselves!!" Naruto shouted loudly, despite the fact that he was so close to Gaara.

The Kazekage raised a non-existing eyebrow. "I repeat: why are you _here_? In _my_ house?"

Naruto sniffled. "HE ATE MY HOUSE!!!" The blonde cried as he suddenly become chibified.

"See? I told you someone would eat it."

"Who cares about what _you_ think?! The point is that we, as brothers, must stand together against the weasel menace!" Naruto proclaimed as a sunset background with crashing waves suddenly appeared behind him.

"Lee!!"

"Gai-sensei!!"

"Lee!!"

"Gai-sensei!!"

"HEY!! You're not in this story!" Naruto shouted at Lee and Gai, who somehow managed to appear out of nowhere.

The spandex-clad ninjas looked at their surroundings before giving sheepish grins. "Sorry." They then held each other's hand and ran into the sunset background, surprisingly actually going _into_ the background!

Gaara arched a non-eyebrow. "...Was that...?"

The blonde ninja nodded. "Yup... I don't know _how_ they got here, though."

"Well...if we should stand together like brothers, we should go and find Sasuke, then."

"NO!! Itachi's the reason why Sasuke's such an emo! If he sees him, all Hell's gonna break loose!!"

_Suddenly, there came a knock on the door. And guess who it was..._

Naruto and Gaara both looked out the window. The blonde paled. The redhead looked the same as he always did.

"Akatsuki." Gaara mumbled.

"He's already finished eating my house, the bastard!!" Naruto exclaimed as a vein throbbed on his forehead.

"Open up and let me in, Kazekage. I want a sandwich." Itachi spoke in a monotonous voice.

"Not only will I not let you in, but that pun sucked." Gaara said in an also monotonous tone.

Naruto started to snicker. "Good one, Gaara!"

"Then prepare to have your house implode." Itachi spoke as his Mangekyo Sharingan activated.

_And then, Gaara's sand mansion imploded upon itself, sending chunks and pieces of sand flying all over!_

A vein throbbed on Gaara's forehead. Naruto's eyes had widened to comical standards. If not for that hand-dandy narration by Blu, the boys may have been splattered all across the setting.

Meanwhile, Itachi grabbed a big hunk of sand, placed it in two slices of bread, put some cheddar cheese on the sand and placed a toothpick with an olive stuck in it on top. He took a bite of his (pun-intended) sandwich. "Hn. Needs salt."

"What sort of retard eats _sand_? I thought Itachi was supposed to be a genius."

"He's...eating...my...house!!!" Gaara growled as sand swirled around him violently.

"E-easy there, Gaara! It's not like your sand can automatically protect you anymore!" Naruto then started to run his chin in an intellectual manner. "Well, we've got no choice. Sasuke's our last hope."

"I'm gonna kill him!!!" The Kazekage shouted as a powerful killing aura surrounded his being.

"No, Gaara! Bad Kazekage! Sit! Heel!" Naruto exclaimed as he tried to hold Gaara back.

_So, with no other options left, Naruto and Gaara went to see the eldest (and most emo) bishie, Sasuke. Of course, they couldn't just outright tell him why they were there to see him, otherwise he might've gone mental and rushed off to defeat the Big Bad Wease--a fight which he would lose and will most likely become under confident enough to run to a snake man in drag._

"What is she talking about?" Sasuke asked with an arched eyebrow as he looked up at the sky.

Naruto began to sweat. "N-nothing! You know how Blu gets! She's just acting like her usual weird self, ya know!"

"Hn... And you two are here because...?"

"Erm..." The blonde tried to think of a good idea.

"We have a bit of a..._pest_ problem." Gaara spoke in a monotonous tone.

Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "Pest?"

"Yes. It ate Naruto's house. And mine as well. We were wondering if you could help us with this problem and kill it off."

"If you want pest control, why don't you call an exterminator?" The Uchiha asked as he leaned against the frame of his doorway.

"Well, we _could_, but our _houses_--meaning everything in them like a _phone_--got eaten up, idiot!" Naruto exclaimed as he glared at Sasuke.

"So you're just here to use my phone."

"Uh, yeah."

"...Fine. But you better not try to raid my fridge." Sasuke muttered as he stepped aside to let Naruto and Gaara walk in.

The blonde gave a whistle as he looked around Sasuke's living room. "Damn, Sasuke! Nice pad!" He jumped over the couch and landed on it. "How come you never invited us to your house before?"

"I'm looking at the reason right now." The raven-haired boy muttered as he stared at Naruto, who was putting his feet up on his table. "Just go and make your phone call and get out."

_Just then, there was a knock on the door. And, of course, we know who it was..._

Sasuke turned around and arched an eyebrow as Naruto began to sweat. "N-no we don't!! We don't know who's at the door!"

Ignoring his _"brother's"_ behavior, Sasuke approached the door and opened it to find...

"Hello, I have 100 pizzas for a Mr. I. M. Emo?" The pizza boy at the door asked as he looked at a small piece of paper.

Sasuke immediately slammed the door in the pizza boy's face before he turned around to glare at Naruto. "_Naruto..._"

"Heh-heh... Of all the times for that guy to show up late! Pizza Shack owes you free pizza for coming in an hour instead of less than 30 minutes like they said they would!" The blonde grinned evilly.

The Uchiha threw the pizza at his orange-clad teammate, who ducked before it could hit him. "Naruto!!"

_Before Sasuke could fry Naruto with his Gokakyu no Jutsu, there was yet another knock on the door!_

"Whew! Thanks, Blu." Naruto sighed as someone knocked on Sasuke's door.

Sasuke opened the door. "What do you want-- ITACHIIIIIII!!!"

"HOLY CRAP!!!" Naruto shouted with eyes bugging out.

Yup. Itachi was standing on Sasuke's porch, picking his teeth with a toothpick. "Hello, foolish little brother. I have come to ask for something to eat."

The younger Uchiha glared at his big brother, eyes red with the Sharingan. "_Bastard...!_ I'll KILL YOU!!!!"

The orange-clad blonde had already resorted to hiding behind the couch. Gaara was somewhere upstairs sleeping on Sasuke's King-sized bed. Itachi looked as apathetic as ever.

"So, I take it that's a _'no'_." The elder Uchiha spoke.

"DIE!!!"

_And after only three minutes, Sasuke was tied up in a corner with a gag in his mouth. Naruto moved in to Sasuke's big swanky house--and Gaara, too, but only because he liked his bed. And Itachi finally quenched his hunger. The end!_

"Stop interrupting with my revenge, you damn woman!!!" Sasuke shouted at the sky.

_Hey, aren't you supposed to be tied up?! Well, I shall never underestimate the power of an angsty emo shinobi. Go ahead and get your ass kicked, Sasuke, so this story can END, already!_

"...When I'm through with Itachi...coming after you," the youngest Uchiha brother growled in a dark tone as he glared up at the sky.

"Can we please get this over with, foolish little brother?" Said Itachi as he looked as his nails. "I'm in serious need of a mani. Hm, maybe a pedi, too, while I'm at it..."

Naruto popped up from behind the couch. "Wow. Itachi's freakier than he should be."

_Yes, well...maybe I hit him **one too many times** with those tranquilizer darts. I just didn't want to wind up being mind fucked like Sasuke was._

As if on cue, the Uchiha Avenger began to froth at the mouth like a rabid dog and his Sharingan eyes, which twitched every couple of seconds or so, glowed an eerie red. "ITACHIIII!!!" The crackling sound of Chidori came next, followed by Sasuke's screams of "DIE, ITACHI!!!"

_This is too horrible!! Oh, I just can't watch!!_

"If you don't want to watch, then just narrate the action," Said Gaara, who had woken up from his nap.

_Oh, right! Thanks, Gaara!_

The Kazekage was already sleeping again, though now he had some sand wrapped around him like a blanket.

_And thus, after that over exaggerated attempt of trying to kill his older brother, Sasuke was taken down, not by Itachi, not by Naruto, not even by the almighty and powerful authoress, but--!_

"GET ON WITH IT!!!" The readers shouted at Blu.

_I WAS GETTING TO IT!!! Anyway, Sasuke was taken down by none other than...Kakashi!_

Naruto blinked. "What?!"

Kakashi popped up beside Naruto behind the couch. "Yo."

"Ah!! Kaka-sensei! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to catch an emo bishie." The silver-haired jonin said. He held up a small card. "See? I'm a member of the Bishonen Trainers club."

"You mean that's for real?! I thought that was just a myth! ...And that only girls joined that club."

Kakashi sweatdropped as Naruto gave him a suspicious look. "Er, well... Anywho, I've gots me a bishonen to catch." He pulled out something that looked like a pok_é_ball and threw it in Sasuke's direction. "Go, Neji!!"

In a beam of red light, Neji stood in front of the rabid Sasuke, his arms folded across his chest. "This is mortifying..."

"To defeat an emo, you must have an equally angsty emo."

"What the--?! How'd you get Neji in one of _those_ little things?!" Naruto shouted at Kakashi.

"Do not question the power and technology of the bishieball. Besides," The elder said, patting his blonde student on the head, "You wouldn't get it."

"Uh...HEY!!"

"Anyway, Sasuke!! I challenge you to a Bishonen Battle!!" Kakashi exclaimed, now donning an outfit like a man whose name sounds like a kitchen condiment. "Neji, attack!!"

_And after several powerful attacks, cool sound effects, and angst-filled rants, the battle was finally over and Neji was the victor--though, it didn't seem like a victory, since he had to go back into his uncomfortably small ball._

Sasuke laid down on the ground with Xs in his eyes and drool coming out of his mouth. Naruto blinked at the spectacular event that just happened. Kakashi gave the peace sign. "I win."

"Actually, Neji's the one that won. All you did was stand by and kept telling him what to do." The blonde said.

"...I still won." The silver-haired jonin's eye smiled as he drew a bishieball. "Alright, Sasuke! You are _mine_! Bishieball, go!" He threw the ball at the unconscious Uchiha and in a matter of seconds, Sasuke turned into a bright beam of red light that shot inside of the ball. "Yes! I did it! I caught a Sasuke!" Kakashi exclaimed as he gave the peace sign.

"OMG!!! HE CAUGHT SASUKE-KUN!!!" A Sasuke fan girl screamed.

"GET 'EM!!!" Another fan girl shouted.

A couple of seconds later, hundreds upon hundreds of Sasuke fan girls somehow managed to appear, and started to run towards Kakashi. They were wielding pitchforks swords, knives, hammers and saws--a couple even held SPORKS in their hands. The masked jonin sweatdropped before running off into the sunset, with the angry Sasuke-obsessing mob chasing after him.

"Lee!!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"HEY!!! I told you aren't supposed to be here!" Naruto shouted at Lee and Gai again as a vein throbbed on his forehead.

"Awww..." The two spandex-clad shinobi slowly walked away from the area, into the sunset.

"So, what happened while I was gone?" Said Itachi, who was now sipping a soda.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Naruto asked as he stared at the Uchiha, a question mark floating over his head.

"The majority of those idiotic fans of Sasuke's are also fans of _mine_. And I know what they're capable of."

"Ah."

_And so, Naruto started to live in Sasuke's mansion. Gaara got to sleep on Sasuke's bed. Itachi's hunger was finally quelled. Kakashi got beaten up by Sasuke's fan girls and Sasuke became the sex toy of every Sasuke-obsessed fan girl--including Sakura, Ino, and that weird Karin girl. And they lived happily ever after! The end!_

"I'M NOT HAPPY!!!" Sasuke shouted up at the sky. He was in only his briefs as Sakura, Ino and Karin surrounded him.

"But we are!!" The three kunoichi and all the other fan girls exclaimed.

"Now, who gets first dibs?"

"Oooh, me! I'm first!"

"In your dreams, glasses! I'm getting Sasuke-kun, first!"

"After _me_, Ino-Pig!"

"DAMN YOU, BLU!!!"

**The _REAL_ End!**

**X-X-X**

**Yay! What a perfect way to end a fic! And I hope that _you_ will review! Toodles!**


End file.
